Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about, complainers. We all complain a time or two or three, but I’m speaking of people who constantly complain about every little thing under the sun. Over the past few weeks I have found myself aggravated by this annoying trait and it has really been a vexation to my spirit. This post can be deemed as a bit of a complaint. Granted, we all complain some time or another but it really irks me to hear someone who is seemingly blessed by God, always complain and contradict the blessings that God has so graciously given them. For the sake of anonymity, I won’t give examples or go in major detail but, I do believe that excessive complaining is synonymous with ungratefulness. It is my opinion, that when you always complain, it makes you appear unhappy an unhappy people are joy vampires, who suck!
I try my best to be mindful of the company that I keep and in that respect I find inner peace and clarity of mind when I am not surrounded my a host of “friends” or people in my ear. I am in no way antisocial, I do have my moments where I am a social butterfly and other times I go in and retreat especially during moments of creativity and self evaluation.
I believe in some rites that, “You are the company you keep.” So if I surround myself with a band of complainers, I’ll soon begin to A-either morph into a complainer, myself, B– be so vexed by the constant flow of complaints that it causes me to rethink my association so I don’t have to hear it or C-scream and say something like, “WHY DO YOU COMPLAIN SO MUCH, ARE YOU NOT HAPPY TO BE ALIVE?” To be perfectly honest, I’m in between B and C.
It is my opinion that complainers are energy draining, joy vamps. They would suck the life out of life with all the negativity they carry in their minds. I understand that there are moments when you want to air your grievances and get the troubles of the day off your chest but really? …All day? There is sooooo much to be grateful for!
I wanted to further understand the person(s) and personality trait behind being a complainer so I started with the definition of complain, which I’m sure we all know.
Complain: 1. To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, uneasiness, censure, grief or resentment; to find fault.
Some synonyms for Complain are: accuse, criticize, denounce, disagree, fret, gripe, attack, beef, nag, grumble, protest, whine, moan, groan, wail, refute, whimper… and the list goes on and on…. *no really it does!*
Some antonyms for Complain are: accept, agree, approve, compliment, consent, commend, praise, delight, endorse, gloat, applaud, help, praise…
Can you hear the harmony in that list of antonyms?
I’ve begun to realize that what a complainer wants most is others to agree with them, this fuels their complaining fire. They want someone to sympathize and confirm that way that they are feeling is valid, even when it’s not. The crazy part is we can get caught off guard and find ourselves agreeing with them just to get them to shut up. I’ve been there… and the next thing you know is, they will begin to always bring their complaints to you, why? Because you have started feeding into it.
Have you ever been dragged into a complainer’s saga? They say things like, “I’m not the only one that feels this way, ask [insert your name here], she/he feels the same way too.” Now, all of a sudden, you’re a complainer too. When a complainer realizes they don’t have you to rely on for validation, they will move on to the next…
Help them move on… by removing yourself or counter-respond with something positive and uplifting. Complainers hate that! They hate optimism! They hate looking at the brighter side of things because that means they have to bring their shades and that’s just to much extra stuff to carry.
I love God’s word because it truth and it’s the antedote to every situation. It’s even more disheartening when the habitual complainer is a follower of Christ. *tisk tisk* When I ponder on it all, the scripture that first comes to mind is Philippians 4:8, where it says….
When you spend time with a heart of thanksgiving and gratefulness you don’t have time to constantly complain. Learn to see the cup as half full instead of half empty and just be grateful because no one wants to likes to be around a Bitter Bob or Negative Nancy, at least I don’t.