Surviving the Narcissistic Parent: ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists)

I re-blogged this post from The Invisible Scar blog because I am a daughter of a Narcissistic Mother. This post is transparent and maybe someone who is reading this has similar issues with a parent whether mother or father who has narcissistic traits.  It took me many years and a day after Mother’s day this year 2015 to finally come to grips with what it was and why my mother and I have such a strained relationship. The post below really hit home and opened my eyes to a lot of the issues of ups and downs that I have dealt with from my childhood. I have stories upon stories that parallel with this post. My mom doesn’t have the best relationship with her mother and my relationship with my mother isn’t the best, not because I don’t desire one but because I somehow believe my mother is incapable of fully loving me because of her narcissism. There are times when I wouldn’t talk to her for weeks to months at a time, we would start talking again and then the issues start-up again. I never fully feel like she is happy for me for my achievements, so when I accomplish something BIG, I never share those accomplishments with her because, she doesn’t reciprocate the same happiness and will turn and direct the conversation back to herself. Narcissistic people make everything about them and they lack empathy for others. Covert Narcissists appear one way in public but totally different behind closed doors. Narcissists crave constant admiration and validation and they dislike being ignored. The biggest break that I have gotten, was when I dated was dating my husband and we got married. I relocated to another city and state and I was so happy. I finally had my own life and my own space and I was no longer under my mother’s umbrella. Ever since my move I’ve experienced great freedom from her opinions about my life and her constant criticism and disapproval. My life has been so much more peaceful and I now can function as an artist and get things done without being hovered over, fussed at or criticized all the time. Now, don’t read this and think that I don’t love my mother, because I do and there are times when she is cool and easy to deal with. This blog post really breaks down the “common” issues that daughters deal with when they are a product of a narcissistic parent. You may even be reading this and saying, “wow I never even knew this sorta thing existed!” If you googled it, you’d be amazed! You’re probably asking yourself, “…well why are you talking about it now?” Well, being always radiant not only encompasses outer beauty and light but also healing, growing and glowing from within. To do that you have to be aware of issues in your life that can stagnate your freedom and growth and learn to deal, cope and heal from them. You are overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of your testimony. So in order to be free, you have to acknowledge issues and be willing to discuss those dark areas and shed light by sharing your experiences so that you can help others to the path of awareness and healing. I’ve kept mum for years because I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that was affecting our relationship and I would pray and ask God to reveal and I believe He has pointed me in this direction so that I can pray. I know that… “We are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” [Ephesians 6.12]. I encourage you to pray for your families as well, especially if you feel as though this relates to you and your experience with your parent(s). I’ve somewhat felt liberated to speak about it and nervous because I am talking about my mother. I am a mother and I have a daughter who is two years now and I do not want cycle of control to pour over into my relationship with my daughter. I desire for us to have a healthy mother-daughter relationship. I’m aware that my mother will probably stumble upon this and read this and be upset but this blog is my voice, my outlet and my experience is my experience and I am free to discuss whatever I like on this forum. Sometimes, truth hurts, but I know truth heals also. This past Mother’s Day gave me further revelation of the real issues between my mother and I, simply because she neglected to even call me to say Happy Mother’s Day for whatever reason. I called, both my grandmother and my mother. I spoke to my grandmother for about half an hour and still no word from my mother, as my call was never returned. I’m going to continue to pray for her, while I heal and enjoy my family and my freedom.  There’s a video below that I encourage you to watch and a re-blogged post from The Invisible Scar website for further information of what Narcissism is and how it affects you if you were raised in a home with a narcissist. #GodSpeed #Alwaysradiant #FreedomThruChrist

The Invisible Scar

narcissistic-mothers-smApril is Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention month. At The Invisible Scar, we are focusing on emotional child abuse, such as the various types, how to help emotionally abused children,  resources for healing, adult survivors of emotional child abuse, and the special case of narcissism.

Adult children of narcissistic parents (ACoNs) know a special type of emotional abuse in being raised by narcissists. (Biological mothers, stepmothers, biological fathers, and stepfathers can be N parents.) 

Before we discuss the special case of narcissism, please note that not every emotionally abusive parent has the narcissistic personality disorder. In some circumstances, an emotionally abusive parent who is not a narcissist can change and improve his or her parenting.  The same is not true for the narcissistic parent, however. Every narcissistic parent is an emotional abuser.

A narcissist is a person who has the narcissistic personality disorder.

Narcissistic personality disorder is one…

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3 thoughts on “Surviving the Narcissistic Parent: ACoNs (Adult Children of Narcissists)

  1. ConciergeXO says:

    Great article! Amazing how I’m surrounded by or in contact with people who shared more than one similarity to my upbringing, my love, my healing, my growth, my life PERIOD. Continue to stay in alignment. It’s comforting to see the cycle being severed never to be looked upon again. We must continue to encourage others through freedom of expression.

  2. ConciergeXO says:

    Great article Rae. Amazing how I’m surrounded by or in contact with people who shared more than one similarity to my upbringing, my love, my healing, my growth, my life PERIOD. It’s comforting to see the cycle being severed never to be looked upon again. We must continue to encourage others through freedom of expression.

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